This is a collection of quotes that I enjoy in one way or another. This is solely for my enjoyment, I make no guarantees about the accuracy of the quotes or who said them. If you are going to harass me about that, go away. Otherwise please enjoy!

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

— Buddha

"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."

— Socrates

"We stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realized they were inside us."

— The Joker

"If you don't know where you're going, then any road will take you there."

— The Streets

"The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one has to do."

— Sai Baba

"Nothing is as unequal as the equal treatment of unequals."

— Unknown

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

— Bilbo Baggins

"Don't be so humble, you're not that great."

— Golda Meir

"I used to think of you as a pain in the neck, but my opinion of you has dropped."

— Red Skelton

"May you live in interesting times."

— Unknown

"What's the view like from the top of the bell curve?"

— Unknown

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people; does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?"

— Unknown

"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot."

— Steven Wright

"Kleptomaniacs don't get puns because they take everything literally."

— Unknown

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, in practice there is."

— Unknown