Git Product home page Git Product logo

ookla-triggers's Introduction

[Note: Fear not. I will write about intellectual property -- patents in particular -- soon.]


Ookla Triggers

A helping hand to our brothers and sisters immediately after an apocalypse.

fantastic design by pixie the gatorfantastic design by pixie the gator


Disaster strikes!

The kind which sparks Mad Max or The Night of the Comet or any of these couple hundred examples

Humanity will transform into savage monsters after the water and electricity and internet and more turns off.

If not for Ookla Triggers!


When bills do not get paid, services shut off. All automatic-like with business logic tucked into the code saying, deadbeats don't get shit.

Fair enough.

What about when disaster strikes?

When bills cannot get paid?

A megatsunami knocks out the US West coast. Space invaders invade from space. A super virus wipes out 96% of humanity.

When bills cannot get paid, everyone automatically transforms into a deadbeat.

Services universally and permanently suspend as humanity most needs the support.


Why not a few triggers to let services run free indefinitely in case of existential disaster?

Let your brothers and sisters have water and internet and SeeSo and electricity and whatever while stitching society back together. Put a pause in the old profit margin while friends and neighbors fend off Daleks or demons.

If you're still alive, CEO, because you rode out the chaos of the virus through lucky genetics or evaded the killzone of the supervolcano because you helicoptered to Vancouver Island you can reinstate the old policies later.

Or leverage your newfound control and goodwill into your very own city state! A proto-empire for your offspring. [note to self: future post]


Trigger 1: No Internet at All

Your powerplant can't talk to the internet for a week?

Maybe it's not our fault, hoser. Maybe it's really foggy outside.

Trigger 2: Mass Non-Payment Outage

Weird, 80% of our customer base didn't pay. Wonder if the meteor which wiped out most of state had anything to do with it.

Trigger 3: A Super Secret Safeword Humanity can Memorize

You work at the CDC or are a demonologist? In case of emergency text seriouslyImNotAnAddict! to 0118 999 881 999 119 7253 (They're your emergency services.)

What did I miss?

Protip: Talk to your PR department before issuing any statements on any apocalypse or post-apocalypse company policy!


I'm not sure what drives the old classics' -- power, gas, water -- code bases . COBOL on an AS400? (We can make a call for these platforms.)

For modern services who use NodeJS -- Netflix, we'll want those Bill Burr specials for belly laughs and Planet of the Apes movies for reference -- here's a kernel:


File Structure

- OoklaTrigger

  + PeppyEarlyPostApocalypseChatbot.ts
	Can you imagine the pep talk you'll want? Plus throw in some handy links like Primitive Technology guy (below).
	
  + YouWillMeasureYourOwnSoulJustBrowsingThis.controller.ts
    Inside here are the constants you'll use to define just how bad the disaster needs to get before going full pro-humanity.
	
  + favicon
	It's all about branding!

  + README.md
    No readme, no project.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VVV4xeWBIxE?list=PLGnWLXjIDnpBR4xqf3FO-xFFwE-ucq4Fj" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

You're welcome, humanity!

ookla-triggers's People

Watchers

 avatar

Recommend Projects

  • React photo React

    A declarative, efficient, and flexible JavaScript library for building user interfaces.

  • Vue.js photo Vue.js

    ๐Ÿ–– Vue.js is a progressive, incrementally-adoptable JavaScript framework for building UI on the web.

  • Typescript photo Typescript

    TypeScript is a superset of JavaScript that compiles to clean JavaScript output.

  • TensorFlow photo TensorFlow

    An Open Source Machine Learning Framework for Everyone

  • Django photo Django

    The Web framework for perfectionists with deadlines.

  • D3 photo D3

    Bring data to life with SVG, Canvas and HTML. ๐Ÿ“Š๐Ÿ“ˆ๐ŸŽ‰

Recommend Topics

  • javascript

    JavaScript (JS) is a lightweight interpreted programming language with first-class functions.

  • web

    Some thing interesting about web. New door for the world.

  • server

    A server is a program made to process requests and deliver data to clients.

  • Machine learning

    Machine learning is a way of modeling and interpreting data that allows a piece of software to respond intelligently.

  • Game

    Some thing interesting about game, make everyone happy.

Recommend Org

  • Facebook photo Facebook

    We are working to build community through open source technology. NB: members must have two-factor auth.

  • Microsoft photo Microsoft

    Open source projects and samples from Microsoft.

  • Google photo Google

    Google โค๏ธ Open Source for everyone.

  • D3 photo D3

    Data-Driven Documents codes.