Add additional controls for installing native dependencies about pnpm HOT 5 OPEN

I was asked whether I would be happy to contribute this change, but instead I'd be happy to pay $100 to whoever fixes this in a satisfying way and shaving off about 20 seconds from my backend build time.

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wouldn’t the reverse make more sense as a flag to override/allow neverBuildDependencies so that it get ignored?

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I thought about it, but that means that it would have to be always specified when doing anything with pnpm (locally), which is a bit of a hassle and worse for DX, given that my default is I don't want it built except in some situations.

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If you have a dependency that doesn't work on all platforms, then this dependency should be an optional dependency. Optional dependencies are skipped on platforms that they don't support. And even they fail, the installation doesn't fail.

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I don't think optionalDependencies works for either use case that I outlined.

Omitting node-canvas

That works for direct dependencies, but in my case node-canvas is actually a transitive dependency so I cannot use optionalDependencies. The direct dependency (and my app) rely on the JS part of node-canvas for frontend code. It only requires the binaries for the backend pieces and server rendering.

Omitting @playwright/browser-chromium

Similarly, making @playwright/browser-chromium optional would not remove it from my docker install process since the install doesn't fail, it just downloads code that couldn't even run on that platform (and it logs as much).

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